A way to self-confidence on job interviews
Imagine that you drive your car once every couple of years …for an hour. How confident and skilled in driving would you expect yourself to be?
We don’t have much opportunity to talk about ourselves and our accomplishments on a daily – or even remotely regular – basis. Nor we take the time that often to appreciate all the small and the signifaciant things we do at work.
No wonder then that it feels rather odd to present ourselves on this short but intensive meeting – a job interview. If that wasn’t enough, on a meeting with, in most cases, strangers. And, on top of all that, the strangers we want to trust us with the job.
Applying for a new role involves a great deal of convincing others – basically to yourself. Very much to our own frustration, we expect ourselves to clearly articulate the value we bring, while not having a very clear picture of it ourselves. And, subsequently, not being fully convinced ourselves.
Self-confidence is a book-size story but not an endless one, starting and ending with two themes that complement each other: sense of self-efficiency and self-worth. The first one is triggered when we see that we are effective at what we do. The second one, when we realise that the things we can do are valuable for others.
From a young age we “draw conclusions” of all our life experiences. At first, our self-image fully depends on the opinion of others. In time, we trust ourselves more and more to assess and appreciate what we do and who we are.
None of us is probably capable of depending 100% on themselves in this matter and it is quite natural to search for confirmation from others. Yet that feedback is often a mixed message, also fairly dependant on others’ ability to pay real attention.
If we cannot rely on it then, how can we build a solid foundation for having that clear picture of our strengths and feel more “confident”? Same way, as we want (and strive for) other people to know and appreciate us, we can nurture our own …self-awareness and self-confidence.
As all big topics, this one too may overwhelm us with the amount of work we need to do so that somethings changes for better. Luckily we know the way to eat an elephant – one bite at a time, bearing in mind it only works when we “bite” regularly. For the sake of job interviews, a good place to start is noticing and collecting in real-time all the big and small successes we achieve every day.
Success …meaning? To answer that, think how is it that you know whether you are successful. In other words, how do you measure or recognise your own effectiveness in your line of work.
Is it about solving problems? Or maybe it’s related to improving the existing solutions? It can be also about how you impact people. Answering the following question may help you to see this clearer: If I wasn’t here to do this job the way I do it, what would not be possible?
The rule of “the more, the better” applies here: try to think of all kinds of impact your work – and the way you do it – have on various aspects of the business you are in.
If you haven’t practiced that often so far, noticing the impact you make in everyday work may be challenging at first. The benefit, however, of paying attention to things we do well is really worth the trouble: whatever we pay attention to most, becomes our reality, something we believe in.
How differently would you perceive yourself if the proportion of own successes versus failures your notice have changed?
Our brain is wired to pay attention to negative events – and to treat them with higher importance. That’s why it takes an extra effort to both notice and remember the good things, including the ones we do. In order to keep them alive so that you can then eaily bring it to life, it is worth spending a few minutes the same day on noting the most important aspects of what you did – in an organised way.
After all, trying to recall your own achievements from past few years in a few days before an interview is a tiresome (if not Sisyphean) labour. Even if you remember the general event, the positive resonanse of its impact is often hard to …bring back to life.
What is worth jotting down then? It can be the things that will interest the people “across the table” on your future interviews. Such as:
- what was the initial problem and why it was important for you to address it
- what were your exact actions
- what was the biggest challenge for you and how did you deal with it
- which of your skills helped you in this situation
- what impact did it have on other people or the business
Equally so, you may note the aspects that are most important for you – e.g. what about this event gave you most satisfaction or made you proud? Here the list of things worth writing down is open – it fully depends on what helps you feel satisfied with youself. And what allows you see clearly your own value in professional context.
The key thing to remember is that our ability to convince others to ourselves does not depend on how big or eventful our actions are. It is more about how meaningful they are in our own eyes. The question of making people trust us (with a job, for instance) starts with a question of how much we trust ourselves.
The practice of noting your small and big wins is really creating a mindset of appreciating the valuable things you do for people and business on a regular basis. Once it is easy for you to spot it, see its worth and outline how you know it brought value, it will be so much easier for you to make others see it too.